Soul Eater by Lindsey Sparks & writing as & Lindsey Fairleigh

Author:Lindsey Sparks & writing as & Lindsey Fairleigh [Sparks, Lindsey]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Rubus Press

Chapter Eighteen

I stared out the passenger window of the Tesla Nik had commandeered from the Heru compound once again. We were crossing Lake Washington on the I-90 bridge, and the water beyond the barrier at the edge of the floating bridge gleamed like anti-At in the moonlight. It was clear out—or clear-ish—for once, and the moon was in her full glory, shining bright.

My thoughts were an ever-changing labyrinth. No matter what path I took, I ended up right back at the same place—a big, fat what the fuck?

Nik and I couldn’t be bonded. A bond couldn’t just spontaneously form between two Nejerets, even if their souls were perfectly compatible. Having sex was supposed to be the only way to solidify a Nejeret bond, and we’d sure as hell never done that, much as I might have thought about it a time or ten. A couple kisses—literally, just two, and one nearly twenty years ago—hardly qualified as bond-sealing interactions.

Sure, I bought that we were potential bond-mates, but that the bond between us was already fully formed—that it had formed the moment Nik’s soul merged with mine to resuscitate me twenty-five days ago—that I couldn’t accept. Bonding just didn’t work like that.

Maybe the bond was partially formed. Maybe we weren’t a truly till-death pair just yet. Maybe the old standard still stood, and we would be safe from that huge whomp-whomp of a downside until we actually did the deed. And while a tussle between the sheets with Nik sounded like pretty much the greatest thing ever—like, it made me all tingly right then and there in the car just considering it—I couldn’t let it happen. If there was even the slightest chance that our bond was only partially formed, that we weren’t damned to spend the rest of our lives glued to each other’s sides, we couldn’t ever let that happen. Based on the gruesome scene of me dying on The Devil card, Nik’s life depended on it.

I couldn’t—wouldn’t—bear the responsibility of knowing that my death would lead to his. A storm was coming, heading straight for me, and my chances of survival weren’t high. But if I didn’t let Isfet out on the hopes that I might save my own life—and Nik’s, if this bonding thing was legit—the universe’s chances would be even worse. There were no good choices, just varying shades of shittiness. And I couldn’t tell a damn person about it.

But, if the bond wasn’t fully formed yet . . .

I looked at Nik sidelong, then shifted in my seat so my knees were angled toward the driver’s side of the car.

He raised his pierced brow, eyes never leaving the three-lane highway ahead. “Yes?”

“It—” I cleared my throat. “It might not be fully formed—the bond. We can test it out . . . see how long we can spend separated from each other. Maybe the withdrawals will only get so bad, but not actually kill us. You know, like we’re only partially addicted. I mean, we haven’t even had sex, so .

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